| ---------- As we
sit on the porch in two large rattan chairs ------but still hand in hand-----
I marvel at the fact that we are still together, even here. We have
reached the point in our lives where sunsets are savored in such a different
way. They have become a silent prayer to the end of another day well spent,
another day we thought we would never have. I look over at you and notice
that you have slipped into a sweet doze and I watch you lips softy curl
into a smile ------- I don't think I have ever loved you so much as I do
at this moment.
I cover you gently and watch you cuddle in and return to my chair
to get lost in my own thoughts of us. It was not that many years ago, as
a whole life is measured, but it has been a complete and wonderful lifetime
full of love and exploration of the human spirit. A perfect capsule that
holds all the emotion of life in a superb concentration.
We are a modern day version of old fashioned love across the miles---
you the city mouse and me the wide eyed country one. The things that have
made us different are the things that have kept us together. We watched
and loved from afar for so long and went our separate ways only to return
to each other with such anguish and need that the pain was palpable.
I'll never forget the first time I saw your name on the computer
screen. You were whitty, with a bit of an edge and I looked forward to
every word. I had no intention of "playing" and just watched in amusement
as you worked your magic. Time flowed by and you finally noticed me, one
day, and sent me a private message ------- so began our dance of love -------
and it was not to be a waltz!!!
You were very clear from the beginning that there would be no chance
of a real life and permanent relationship and I had a real life love, so
this seemed to me to be the best of both worlds. My other love knew of
you and had the wisdom to know that you were important and necessary in
The years drifted by and we talked of family, our hopes and dreams,
lost loves, but never the future. One day you told me you loved me and
my world turned upside down. You became so much more real to me and I began
to think of "what ifs". We finally exchanged telephone numbers and you
became enchanted by my voice and I would do anything to hear you laugh
------ your laughter would ring like a longed for melody in my ears for
"What ifs" are the seeds of the future and we continued to unknowingly
drift closer and closer to each other.
You stir from your slumber and turn your face towards me and open
your eyes. You smile and say, "I love you, Amour" ---- always the first
words out of your mouth when we awaken. I think of that time you told me
that I am the sweet and gentle part of your life and I make you feel cared
for and loved. I have only been paid this compliment once before and you
humble me to my very core.
The light is getting dimmer and you stand and extend your hand to
me ---- " I think it is time to go in". I reach for your strong, but fragile
hand and we gaze at the last rays of the setting sun and silently pray
for just one more.
----------- I take your arm and we go inside. We only have eyes for
each other and glide past the other "guests" as though they are not even
there. We slowly walk down the long corridor to our room and you unlock
the door ----- always gallant ------ always letting me enter first.
Once inside, I turn to you and you gather me into to your arms and
kiss me with such intensity. I always feel it is like the first time and
the look on your face mirrors my own and I know you are thinking the same.
We quietly undress, never losing sight of the other and do those
"nighttime things" sharing the bath and giggling over long ago remembered
'indiscretions". Even the most mundane things about life are still fun.
We stand there ---- you in your boxers and me in my satin --------
you love the feel and I love the "feel" when you slide it from my body
after we get in bed." Are you ready Hon ???" You lead me to the bed and
carefully tuck me in before you lie beside me.
I instinctively turn to you and you take me in your arms ------ always
one last kiss before we sleep " I love you, Amour" ------ I will sail into
eternity with those words reverberating in my heart. "And I love you my
darling ----- sleep well"
There is a soft knock on the door and you call out "Yes?". The door
opens and the nurse pops in her head and says, "Goodnight Ladies -------
sleep well". She closes the door and walks down the hall to check on the
other "guests" in the retirement home.
She smiles ------- " How sweet that someone cares so much for those
two women that she insists they end their days together." Rumor has it
that they are ------ you know. She is also rumored to be the lover of one
of them. A greater gift of love and devotion could never be given."
You always fall asleep first and I love to watch your sleeping face
and watch you smile. I'm tired now and as I drift off, I whisper the same
prayer (you always teased me fondly about my prayers ---- but as usual,
you indulged me) ---------- "If I should die before I wake ------ I pray
the Lord our souls to take."