| THE INTERVIEW
"Please be seated, " he begged, as
he looked up my leg.
"Now is that Miss, or is that Mrs.?
And just how well do you do dishes?"
"That's Ms." I said, as in magazine.
His eyes got red. His look turned
mean.
"Now tell me just what is your ethnic
descent?
Are they hicks, are they spicks? Do
they celebrate Lent?"
Are you married or single? Do you
like to co-mingle?
Can you type, can you file? And continue
to smile?
We went to know if you can make it
while you dust our office - naked.
What we pay is a dollar ten.
If you're not a Jew or a Lesbian.
He whipped out his - notebook, and
began taking notes.
"You can put that away. It looks like
a goat's."
"Just give me your name and your telephone
number."
"I won't give you a thing. Is that
a cucumber?"
His eyes got green. He began to scream.
"So what do you have that makes you
fit
to do this job? Let me feel your tit.
Tell me all of your qualifications.
Write down fifty recommendations.
While I'm at it do you have pretensions?
I need to know your exact dimensions."
"Seven. Medium. And ten by four.
My hat, my gloves and my bathroom
floor."
"This is hard to believe Miss Kike,"
he roared.
"That's dyke," I said and began looking
bored.
"You're impertinent young lady; you
should go have a baby."
"You're impertinent, you prick. I
should chop off your dick."
And with enough said, I whacked off
his head
which rolled on the floor as I marched
out the door.
"What they pay is a dollar ten?
Looks like it's job-huntin' time again."
(first published in
To the man reporter from the Denver Post, by Chocolate Waters ©1975)
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