"Wanderings"  by White Iris

A Story
         ---------- As we sit on the porch in two large rattan chairs ------but still hand in hand----- I marvel at the fact that we are still together,  even here. We have reached the point in our lives where sunsets are savored in such a different way. They have become a silent prayer to the end of another day well spent, another day we thought we would never have. I look over at you and notice that you have slipped into a sweet doze and I watch you lips softy curl into a smile ------- I don't think I have ever loved you so much as I do at this moment.

I cover you gently and watch you cuddle in and return to my chair to get lost in my own thoughts of us. It was not that many years ago, as a whole life is measured, but it has been a complete and wonderful lifetime full of love and exploration of the human spirit. A perfect capsule that holds all the emotion of life in a superb concentration.

We are a modern day version of old fashioned love across the miles--- you the city mouse and me the wide eyed country one. The things that have made us different are the things that have kept us together. We watched and loved from afar for so long and went our separate ways only to return to each other with such anguish and need that the pain was palpable.

I'll never forget the first time I saw your name on the computer screen. You were whitty, with a bit of an edge and I looked forward to every word. I had no intention of "playing" and just watched in amusement as you worked your magic. Time flowed by and you finally noticed me, one day, and sent me a private message ------- so began our dance of love ------- and it was not to be a waltz!!!

You were very clear from the beginning that there would be no chance of a real life and permanent relationship and I had a real life love, so this seemed to me to be the best of both worlds. My other love knew of you and had the wisdom to know that you were important and necessary in my life.

The years drifted by and we talked of family, our hopes and dreams, lost loves, but never the future. One day you told me you loved me and my world turned upside down. You became so much more real to me and I began to think of "what ifs". We finally exchanged telephone numbers and you became enchanted by my voice and I would do anything to hear you laugh ------ your laughter would ring like a longed for melody in my ears for days.

"What ifs" are the seeds of the future and we continued to unknowingly drift closer and closer to each other. 

You stir from your slumber and turn your face towards me and open your eyes. You smile and say, "I love you, Amour" ---- always the first words out of your mouth when we awaken. I think of that time you told me that I am the sweet and gentle part of your life and I make you feel cared for and loved. I have only been paid this compliment once before and you humble me to my very core.

The light is getting dimmer and you stand and extend your hand to me ---- " I think it is time to go in". I reach for your strong, but fragile hand and we gaze at the last rays of the setting sun and silently pray for just one more.

----------- I take your arm and we go inside. We only have eyes for each other and glide past the other "guests" as though they are not even there. We slowly walk down the long corridor to our room and you unlock the door ----- always gallant ------ always letting me enter first.

Once inside, I turn to you and you gather me into to your arms and kiss me with such intensity. I always feel it is like the first time and the look on your face mirrors my own and I know you are thinking the same. 

We quietly undress, never losing sight of the other and do those "nighttime things" sharing the bath and giggling over long ago remembered 'indiscretions". Even the most mundane things about life are still fun.

We stand there ---- you in your boxers and me in my satin -------- you love the feel and I love the "feel" when you slide it from my body after we get in bed." Are you ready Hon ???" You lead me to the bed and carefully tuck me in before you lie beside me.

I instinctively turn to you and you take me in your arms ------ always one last kiss before we sleep " I love you, Amour" ------ I will sail into eternity with those words reverberating in my heart. "And I love you my darling ----- sleep well"

There is a soft knock on the door and you call out "Yes?". The door opens and the nurse pops in her head and says, "Goodnight Ladies ------- sleep well". She closes the door and walks down the hall to check on the other "guests" in the retirement home.

She smiles ------- " How sweet that someone cares so much for those two women that she insists they end their days together." Rumor has it that they are ------ you know. She is also rumored to be the lover of one of them. A greater gift of love and devotion could never be given."

You always fall asleep first and I love to watch your sleeping face and watch you smile. I'm tired now and as I drift off, I whisper the same prayer (you always teased me fondly about my prayers ---- but as usual, you indulged me) ---------- "If I should die before I wake ------ I pray the Lord our souls to take."

©White Iris




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